Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
