If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
time to smoke my breakfast
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
