Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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