This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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