and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
