so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
