Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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