Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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