Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All the doctor said was why
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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