stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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