There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
