What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
