Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
