it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
