We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
