I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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