The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
