if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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