You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
