East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
