she was so not down for the gang bang
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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