Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
