I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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