Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
