fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
