Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
