It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
