this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
