just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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