so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
