Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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