Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
