Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
