I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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