so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
