I wannas sexs uuuuu
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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