that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
