I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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