I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
