Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
