Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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