At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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