my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You were trust falling into bushes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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