herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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