whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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