Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
