you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
