with your own penis?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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