I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
