I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
