All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
