party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
