Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
