I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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